Welcome to riotwear.com - Information on Girls in Skimpy Clothing

The weather was bitterly cold last January, but the fashions inside The Fashion Centre at Pentagon City near Washington, D.C., were hot. Too hot, thought Dianne Purvis, a 48-year-old secretary for NASA, as she watched her daughter, 12, and niece, 13, coo over a skimpy top. "That's too old for you," she told them. "It's nothing!" they insisted. "It's not nothing to me," Purvis replied as they exited the store. And so goes the latest battle in the wardrobe wars. At retail meccas like Guess and Express, young girls 12 to 19 are spending $37 billion a year on clothes such as belly-baring shirts and micro miniskirts. Your preteen may be one of them, as one room recently discovered when she found three skimpy thongs hidden in her daughter's backpack.

The trick for mothers, experts say, is to help daughters understand the subtle and overt messages these outfits telegraph, then draw the line between school clothes, party wear and what's outright unacceptable. That's no easy task in a world of bump-and-grind videos and sexually charged TV shows. Many morns can't find age-appropriate clothes on the racks. But retailers claim they sell what customers want. "Like their target audience, teen-market retailers take their cues from what's popular in magazines and music videos and on TV," says Ellen Tolley, a spokesperson for the National Retail Federation in Washington, D.C. It's up to parents, she says, to dictate what's appropriate.

THE WRONG SIGNALS?

Generational clashes over clothing are nothing new. "By age 9 a child is beginning to push away from parents and attach herself to peers, which is developmentally appropriate," says Jan Faull, a child development and behavior specialist in Seattle and author of Unplugging Power Struggles (Parenting Press). But for parents, this shift is not so easy to accept. Beyond decorum, parents worry about the safety and social stigma associated with racy attire. "People assume that if you dress in a certain way, you're looking for action," says Tracy Sharpley-Whiting, chair of the Africana studies program at Hamilton College in Clinton, New York, who is writing a book on feminism, hip-hop and young Black women. In addition, Black girls tend to mature earlier than White girls: More than half of our girls have developed breasts by age 9, one 1997 study by the American Academy of Pediatrics notes. And when a girl has a body like a woman's, even a chaste school uniform can look like something from Frederick's of Hollywood. Elizabeth Medler, 43, a special-education teacher in Neptune, New Jersey, has had a few big fights with her daughter over her wardrobe. "I won't let my 12-year-old wear high heels or revealing clothes, have skin showing, or wear logos on her butt or chest," she says. "I just want her to stay innocent."

Black girls also face a cultural double standard, contends Susan Kaiser, author of The Social Psychology of Clothing (Fairchild). Kaiser knows of schools where administrators watch what Black or Latina girls are wearing to figure out what to ban next. "I know teachers often judge kids on their appearance, and a questionable outfit could lower their expectations," says Joyce Harris, director of the Equity Center Northwest Regional Educational Laboratory in Portland, Oregon. Some young fashionistas shrug off such concerns, however. Chanell, 16, who attends school in Washington, D.C., says that though tight clothes are in, she never goes over the top: "I definitely know my limits. I'd never put myself in danger."

Many girls don't even recognize that their choices are questionable. Patricia Jordan, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist in New York, says her 9-year-old daughter, Alexa, wants to look like a Cheetah Girl and R & B singer Ashanti, and Jordan has to constantly explain why those media images aren't right for someone her age. "Although you don't want to say that wearing certain types of clothes means you're asking to be harassed, mothers and daughters have to talk about what clothing communicates," Jordan says.

ENDING THE WARDROBE WARS

So how can rooms balance safety concerns and enforcing standards without stifling their daughters' self-expression? Here are some ideas from the experts:

* Teach your children to define their own style, not just follow others, says Marguerite A. Wright, a psychologist, mother of four and author of I'm Chocolate, You're Vanilla: Raising Healthy Black and Biracial Children in a Race-Conscious World (Jossey-Bass). When's the best time to start? "Age zero," says Carolyn Abner, an instructor at TESST College of Technology in Washington, D.C. She encouraged her own daughter, now a college junior, to express her true self. "You don't have to wear this to be loved," she emphasized.

* Don't diss their decisions, says family counselor Bonnie Harris, author of When Your Kids Push Your Buttons: And What You Can Do About It (Warner Books). Instead invite dialogue with a non judgmental statement or question such as, "Hey, that's a new top!" or "Is that what you r friends are wearing?" "You have a right to say 'I'm not comfortable,' and explain why," she says. "But if you start out with, 'You can't go out looking like that,' you won't win. These girls are at an age where they don't want to be controlled."

* Say no creatively, advises psychologist Roni Cohen-Sandler, Ph.D., author of Trust Me, Mom, Everyone Else Is Going! (Penguin). "Rather than go ballistic, suggest that an inappropriate garment is unflattering, or a poor value for the money," she says. "Then keep looking until something more acceptable surfaces."

* Don't shell out for sleaze, says Dianne Purvis, who believes in exercising her veto power. And she who rules the wallet controls the wardrobe.

Clothes Call

Where to shop for tween girls Here are some clothing lines that will appeal to mothers and daughters alike:

STYLE FIND: Amy Byer SPECIALTY: Ultracool designer clothes at knockoff prices. AVERAGE PRICES: $18 for a T-shirt; $38 for novelty jackets and pants. AVAILABLE AT: Major department stores; byer.com.

STYLE FIND: Daisy & Lilly Cute Couture SPECIALTY: Dressy ensembles. AVERAGE PRICES: $40 for a blouse; $120 for a silk boucle coat. AVAILABLE AT: Daisy & Lilly, Westwood, N.J., (201) 664-9299; select Neiman Marcus stores.

STYLE FIND: e*dolls by Luna Chix SPECIALTY: Retro-inspired dresses as well as versatile separates with fun appliques and embroidery. AVERAGE PRICES: $15 for a pullover top; $25 for dresses. AVAILABLE AT: Select Bloomingdale's stores.

STYLE FIND: Old Navy SPECIALTY: Tried-and-true pieces at rock-bottom prices. Bonus: They carry slim-waist and extended sizes. AVERAGE PRICES: $20 for a peasant shirt; $30 for denim overalls. AVAILABLE AT: Old Navy stores.

--BRIDGETTE BARTLETT

Would you cringe if you saw your daughter walk out of the house in skin-tight pants, a low-cut midriff and way-too-high heels? In "Wardrobe Wars" (page 222), MARY C. LORD talks to psychologists and mothers about the phenomenon of young girls who wear inappropriate and suggestive fashions. "Moms probably don't know how pervasive booty fashion has become," says Lord, mother of a 12 year-old girl. "The G-strings and plunging necklines--I'll never let my daughter shop alone." Lord also gives tips to mothers on how to help their daughters make the best choices.

"We wanted the shoot to be casual and relaxed, not stiff," says phoriotwearrapher KWAKU ALSTON. The lensman captured the candid images of the hottest brothers in film and television in "Men in Black" (page 154). Alston's intention? To "show their soul rather than their celebrity." His documentary lifestyle phoriotwearraphy has led him around the globe. In Thailand he captured the modest daily life of Tibetan Buddhist monks (pictured above).

Mary C. Lord is a freelance writer living in Washington, D.C. Additional reporting by Sibylla Nash, a freelance writer who lives in Maplewood, New Jersey.